Dang!

When are they going to post the winning numbers for Millionaire for Life? Some of us have to get up in the morning if we don't become millionaires! Now we have to win or else I'll never be able to wake up in the morning.

Pimp My Train

This was a conversation I overheard at work today:

M: My husband and I went to this amazing store this weekend where everything was only a dollar!!
S: What, like Dollarama?
M: Yes!! That's what it was called...oh S, it was unbelievable! We bought 52 things, so now you know how much we spent...teehee!!

The saddest part is that this isn't an isolated incident. I could start an entire blog just based on the "material" this "M" woman throws my way on a daily basis. Unbelievable indeed!

On a completely unrelated note, the GO Trains have been pimped out and now have a handful of TV screens on each level showing ads and news tidbits. I was quite impressed and even tuned my MP3 player to the radio channel it said had sound. It lied by the way...unless that highly static lounge music was supposed to be the sound that went along with the blatant advertisements. I give it about a month before a group of drunken sports fans/concert goers end up vandalizing them. On the plus side, maybe with all this paid advertising, GO won't jack up my $250 monthly pass for another few months. Or they'll have to make it go up even more just to pay for all the smashed up TVs they'll have to replace in a month.

Bikey Bike Bike!

Isn't this one sexy bike? Oh yeah, you want it! lol



Specs:
- adjustable 'Touchless' magnetic resistance
- Competitor® control panel displays distance, RPMs, calories and fat calories burned, heart rate, time, pace, resistance level and speed
- 6 pre-set workouts
- EKGTM Grip Pulse Sensor

And it even has a built in fan! Woo!

So there are smart people left in the retail world!

I ended up going back to Sears to badger them a bit. I was really sad that my "getting fit bubble" was burst, so I decided to take action! I went back and the same girl was there. I asked if there was any way to raise my credit limit on my Sears card in store and she said I'd have to call the number. Too bad they're closed on Sundays and the sale is only on until today. Luckily a guy was standing nearby who overheard the conversation and informed me that you can buy a gift card with one credit card, use it and then pay the rest with the other credit card. It was so simple, yet so brilliant! Of course blondie says "oh, yeah, I guess you could do that". Right, thanks for your help. So I went home got Mike (and his credit card) and bought that mother fuckin bike! Oh and the icing on the cake? I'm only one of 2 people that they knew about this weekend who got $40 off on the scratch and save sale. Damn straight...that's for all the shit I've had to go through to get the damn thing!

Sears doesn't want me to lose weight...

I'm serious...it's terrible! I have decided that having a piece of exercise equipment in our basement would be much more effective than paying a gym membership for a gym I never use. I get home and I don't want to leave again, but if I had a bike or elliptical in the basement, I could go down in my pjs and have my running shoes down there, turn on the tv to whatever I want to watch at whatever volume I feel like and go! I could handle 30 minutes to an hour every day or two. I know I could do it no problem. I generally stick to the same pieces of equipment when I go to the gym anyway, so it's not like I would get bored of it.

I decided to buy something from Sears. I heard good things and I have some money left on my Sears card. I've been doing some research and checking prices and flyers like mad. We went to check out some ellipticals...wayyy too cheap and crappy. I was really upset because I was sooo excited about getting one, but I'm not going to spend that much (even if it's not that expensive) on something that can't take a little abuse from being in the store. Then I checked out some recumbant bikes...getting better. The girl tells me this Saturday and Sunday that one I had my eye on was going on sale for $200 off. I also see an elliptical for $300 off in the flyer that looks decent. We go in today and decide that I can get the expensive bike or the elliptical by putting half on my Sears card and half on Mike's Visa as long as I promise to stick with it. Deal! We're back in business! With our taxes due and whatnot, it's the best we can do right now. First off, the elliptical wasn't in store. I'm not buying something I can't even try out. So I decide to go for the bike which is kind of what I had my mind set on anyway. They ring it in and I get $20 from the skratch and save sale (oh boy..lol) and I go to give her my Sears card and ask her to put on half. "Oh sorry, we can't split up credit cards. We can split debit and cash, but not credit cards." WTF?? What kind of business practice is that? Instead of asking for a manager (which I should have done), I left. I was just so stunned, I left.

Fuck that. When I win my million dollars for life on Wednesday, I'm going to go in to Sears and tell them I'm buying an entire home gym, then when they ask how they can help, I will continue by saying, "Oh sorry, you didn't let me finish...I'm not buying it here...I just wanted you to know that you're assholes and I'm spending all sorts of money somewhere else." Then I'll feel much better! lol

So I went to Michael's and bought some watercolours and paint brushes instead. If I can't make myself pretty, I might as well at least make some pretty pictures right? :P

Photoshop

I like to mess around with Photoshop a lot. Sometimes I have an idea of what I want to do, but about 80% of the time, I just start making a mess and I see what comes out of it. This is one of those messes. I set out to make a weird creature in front of an ice castle, but this is what happened. Yeah, not quite the same result, but it made me laugh, so I went with it. I'm still kind of confused about where the ostrich came into the picture. I guess it just seemed boring without him. Anyway, to see more of my weirdness (like you haven't seen enough just by reading this short lived blog so far), head on over to my deviantART page: http://retinyl.deviantart.com/

The Chronicles of Martina: The Lion, The Superhero, and the Football Game

Anyone who knows me well, knows I have the weirdest dreams ever! Last night was a good one! First, Mike was going to a meeting this morning (which is true) and he gave me his cell phone for whatever reason. The meeting was at 10 and he called me about an hour later to tell me he'd be another 18 hours. I was half asleep so I told him "okay" and hung up. Then I woke right up and realized he said 18 hours when he should have been just about done. I was dialing the phone (I always have trouble dialing phones in my sleep...I think it's one of the very few recurring themes I have in dreams) and finally started to dial his phone number properly (after a few tries) when I realized I had it in my hand. Crap! I realized he was probably off galavanting, so I decided to go by the hotel where the meeting was being held to see if his car was still there so I could bust him later!

I guess I forgot I had a car, because I started walking over. Except that by walking, I mean super speed running and leaping over tall things. Apparently I have super powers of some sort. I ran into someone I knew and we began running and leaping all over the place.

I ended up in my old grade 6 classroom and we were looking at pictures of people we knew when I realized that nobody there liked me and everyone was jealous I had super powers. I told the friend I was with to hang tight and I made myself part of one of the pictures on the wall so nobody could see who I was and I could spy on them. My perception was really messed up at this point and I felt really disoriented, so I decided it was a bad idea and got out of the picture and left the school.

Outside was London in the 1800s. I was in a gloomy alley now and this big old prostitute (I'm assuming that's what she was since she was hanging out in alleys) was trying to thwart my plans. I cast a spell on her that made her not realize when she had to use the bathroom. Ok, so maybe I don't have super powers...I'm probably a magician of some sort. I'm trying to escape the alley when I see her taking a dump in the middle of the street. I'm starting to regret the choice of spell I used on her.

I round a corner and I can now see the football stadium. Oh did I not tell you? I'm no longer looking for Mike at the hotel, I'm supposed to be in the Super Bowl and I can't be late. I have super powers (or something) and they need me to be there or else our team won't win! Nobody wants me there, because the other team knows they have no chance. I have people on all sides trying to stop me from reaching the stadium. I'm faster than them though! I speed through them all and dodge people left and right (this is great practice for the game!) and finally make it on to the field just in time! The other team is the red team and I'm the green team. Apparently we don't have names.

As I'm waiting for the game to start, I see my friend, the giant white lioness, sitting at the side of the field. I go over to her and have this strong feeling that she has something important to do with all of this, but I can't puzzle out what it is. I sit down and start petting her huge head and let her suckle on my finger. It feels kind of funny and hurts a bit - she is a giant lion after all.

And that's when I woke up with a sore finger. My hand wasn't in a weird position or anything either. True story!

Crinokole, crinokole!!

Me speak good. This is the truth of the matter. Sometimes I just shout out random things. Especially when I'm excited. I don't think before I speak, so half the time I just spew out various strings of sounds that really don't go together and certainly don't form comprehensive sentences or even real words. For some reason this amuses me so much more than it worries me. I think I am slowly turning into Homer Simpson (see Exhibit A below).

Exhibit A